Siblings of Children with Special Needs

“Each of our lives will always be a special part of the other.”

As CTC just honored this special relationship in our student lives with sibling day, we thought it would be a great opportunity to highlight this important but sometimes overlooked group of children: Siblings of Children with Special Needs.  Siblings experience many challenges while growing up as well as many enriching experiences.

“Kids who grow up with a sibling with special health or developmental needs may have more of a chance to develop many good qualities, including:

• patience
  
• kindness and supportiveness
  
• acceptance of differences
  
• compassion and helpfulness
  
• empathy for others and insight into coping with challenges
  
• dependability and loyalty that may come from standing up for their sibling.” (Boyse, 2009)
  

Like all children, siblings will experience a range of positive and negative feelings.  It is important to validate their feelings and allow a healthy expression.  “When parents tune in to the individual needs of each child in the family, they can help ease the difficulties”. (Boyse, 2009)

Parent Tips from Dr. Gurian (2013):

SPECIAL TIME- “Parents, focused on including their child with special needs as a full member of the family, may tend to give less attention to the needs of their other children. It is important, however, to try to give each (child) a regularly scheduled special time with each parent alone and together.”   In Brady Rymers musical words of wisdom, “Being with You”, serves as an a reminder of the importance of connection and special time for each child!

It is also important for siblings to share special times together…

PROACTIVE STRATEGIES- “When planning family activities, remember that not everything has to be done with the whole family. When an activity is too taxing for the special child, arrangements can be made for his care while the family is out.”

IDENTITY/ SELF-ESTEEM– “Encourage each child to pursue own his/her own interests and give each one a special space for personal things.”

SUPPORT SYSTEMS- “Recognize each child's unique strengths and accomplishments and make sure they develop friendships outside the family. If a child is concerned about how a friend might react to his sibling, role-play some possible conversations and explanations.”

BE POSITIVE- “Find opportunities to complement each child for being helpful and for being a team player.”

FAMILY MEETINGS- “Parents should initiate periodic family discussions at a quiet time with no distractions. Providing a designated time would enable everyone to air feelings, positive and negative, and a way of talking about stresses such as peers, reactions of public, extra responsibilities and other accommodations. Kids should know it's okay to ask questions, and discussion should clarify any misinformation they may have picked up. Parents should try to maintain calm, modeling an attitude of coping, communicating and actively seeking ways to solve problems. Research shows that avoidance of these issues may lead to children's difficulties as adults in expressing emotions, in establishing relationships and vulnerability to depression.”

Siblings have an important role in our student’s lives.  CTC’s Sibling day is simply celebrating this sibling relationship.  Our goal, like a family’s goal, is to build opportunities for bonding and celebrating a connection.  Our students and their siblings created CTC family trees each individual leaving their unique imprint, their handprint, to create the leaves and roots of our trees.   

As Laura Smith summarizes her sibling relationship from her CTC blog entry, “Throughout the years Eric has opened my eyes to a different way of thinking and I am by far a better person because of it.”   (Rachael Verdi-Berringer, Joanne Keilty & Michelle Molle- Krowiak,  Wharton Student & Family Support Services, Celebrate the Children)

References

Boyse, K (2009).  University of Michigan.  Retrieved from http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/specneed

Gurian, A (2011). Siblings of children with special needs.  NYU Medical Center.  Retrieved from http://www.aboutourkids.org/articles/siblings_children_special_needs on November 7, 2013.